breaking free

Breaking free of this chains, whom am I and what else remain, withered and weak I fall to the ground whispering your name, you gave me life, gave me hope, gave you my heart but you took my soul, cherished by the value of your life you pawned it tro get sold, lifeless I rise, the light is gone, but what am i, the power I had to carryon has left and I ask why, pacing threw the memories and weighing the pro and cons, tried of the destruction at mercy and still wrong, I’m flying on the outside, destroyed from with in, I’m pushed into darkness lost with no where to begin. 

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sink hole

As I take a step, I look and see the pond, confident in my decision I throw my bag across, helping what has fallen in, on the shore I know they are safe, no one walks away from this, the sinking dark weary pond . Taking a long gaze I take two steps and predict my launch, others have gone before me as I see where they have launched, running up to the edge,the others before me trip me so I fall, what was once a confident leap, turned into a terrible cannon ball, traveling on this dark path , a place that I have come to know, traveling on this dark path, a path I’ve roamed alone. Traitor of my own words, my kindness an advantage for them to keep, my thoughts display before me, as I sink to my defeat, looking all around, they see me sink as I cry for help, most of them laughed, the sand rises above my belt, closing my eyes this is the reality of my fate, opening my eyes my head sinks I known its to late. Gasping for air, my mind start to drift acceptant of my fate, my hands in the air, but who really cares, I was bound to be here sooner than late.

My dark side

 As I woke I felt the world had changed, a distance in my vision my mental thoughts a little strange, rising from the bed open my eyes and started my rou, strutting to the stove I rotate my breakfast then i poo, I put my shades on cause I’m always looking breathless, this evil side always sending a dark cruel horrifing methage. It’s my morning Coffe, it’s my big event of the show, kicks in my step with a sniff on this boat I always row, flowing down this river on quick turn I’m always caught in a maze, getting irritated I twist my head then I blaze, lost in one direction I try to pick but I can’t choose, mental thoughts got me my life I always choose to abuse, eaten from the inside my dark side takes my mind as i fade and drift away, switching to auto pilot the world turns grey, …(takes a rip) “(dark side)”” I’m the silent type, when you swing I always sway, no fucks are given, leaving b’s in my wake, throwin up my middle finger, 360 as I doing I always twirl, smiling to everyone around me saying fuck the free world. I’ve lost the Sence of emotion as I lost all self control, sold my self to my dark side, now it has my soul, counting all the days that I have control again, never gone for to long then I take control again, deleting all memorie, Im your start, I’ll be your end, my own code of ethic, when I speak in silece you hear me deep from with in, the most wanted side I’m shinned by them all, the black sheep of my family, the worse side  of them all” , staring at the world around me the other side starts to break, hears your five minutes heres your fucking lunch break”. “(Light side)”, I  think small but try hard for all big, had this dream before me since I was just a little kid, looking out the window watching people when they cruise, 6-4 impalas, spiked rims, white wall shoes. Sitting on that cushion, my goals and life I had strait, too much determination didnt have to debate,  trying to look forward but my head always in the past, thinking about the one that got me karms always bits in the ass, thinking about my girl she about to turn two, haven’t seen in months back when she had one tooth, barley saying daddy Buying her diapers tmile out in front but I’m hurting from with in, raising up my cup partying at night cause Lord knows that inhale sinned.

Dream scape. 

Starring into abyss,  I drink in what I have found,  I feel the gaze upon me as I Drift round and round,  seeing all the sounds and hearing all the Colors,  trying to fight current but the undertow pulls me under, As the swirls slow,  I drip into a room,  a mans stands  in front of me,  restrained I can’t move,  whispering his thoughts,  but never saying words,  the room blows apart As the journey has just begun,  orbiting the earth I swim for the sun,  an angel falls before me and hands me a gun,  pointing at myself I raise my flag and pull the trigger,  blinking my eyes once to reveal another picture,  my chest an empty whole my heart dwindles in the sky,  reaching for the clouds I grow wings and start to fly,  I’m closer to the sun but I’m landing on the moon,  one step for man but I’m not wearing shoes.  Free falling to earth I close my eyes to prepare for doom,  opening up my eyes I wake up inside my room. Another trip discovered as I ingest the next move.  Numbing my thoughts is a game I can not loose. 

Crystal

The first Time that we met, we felt the spark from deep with in, Nervous to your presence, I didn’t know where to begin. Her Voice echoes in my thoughts,  and runs threw my brain.  At first we were just  a spark,  but  grew into A flame,  day by day our love grew more,  she Has me on my knees,  scrubbing and cleaning floors,  in love with each other our flaws That we both knew. She pushes my buttons and I push hers to,  happily ever after at least that’s what i knew, months go by,  no tears cried our relationship Holding strong,  going crazy with out u when your gone to long,  when you leave  to find relief,  I stress out and even cry,  contacting all to find you, trying locate  the so called guy,  when you come back,  I give anything just to have you,  take you any way if you wanted,  but never chew,  your the end of my worries,  and the down fall of my day,  sparking like water,  I’m just 2 bIcks too late.   

Slowemotion

Sitting behind a stage,  they’ve come to see the show , Chatting in whisper,  I tighten up my bow,  the curtains draw back,  as I smile and begin to wave,  an audience builds as the light strikes Upon  the stage,  I have everyone’s attention as I begin the show,  everyone’s attention but a certain little girl, continuing my act, I look to see again,  arms crossed over never looking over,  I continue the show again. The lights dim low,  this is the finale sceen. Her head turns toward me Now, I froze inside the scene,  her eyes glism with brown,  as a tear rolls down her cheek,  studying all her features my heart pounds as my mind leaves the room. She looks like me I thought,  but I know it wasn’t true,  everyone stands before me,  as a tear rolls down my face,  I looked back to the little girl Now,  but it seems  she was misplaced,  the roses start to fall,  for the show is finally done,  the curtains drop forward as my mind thinks of her.  Kneeling down before me I think of my baby girl,  my eyes fill with water as my heart bbegins to hurt,  Its all silent now for I must prepare for the show,  the audience chat in whisper as I tighten up my bow,  the curtains draw mack as the light strikes the stage,  starring in the audience I see my baby girl once more enraged.